There’s nothing more exciting than welcoming a new addition to your family! So when your newborn arrives home, everyone’s itching to meet your new little one. But some parents have reasonable newborn safety concerns, especially if there’s a long list of visitors waiting in the wings. As a result of all this attention, many parents wonder when it’s safe to start having visitors–and how many visitors might be reasonable.
The answer to this question will not be universal. Every parent will have to decide where their comfort level is when it comes to new introductions. This can introduce some tricky social circumstances (there’s usually a great deal of pressure from friends and family to meet your new addition).
This is why it’s beneficial to start thinking about this topic well before your newborn arrives (though, it’s never too late). With the right information, you’ll be able to establish boundaries that align with your comfort level and your child’s risk profile.
Invitations, Visitors, and Newborn Safety
Friends and family who do not receive an immediate invitation to meet your newborn will sometimes feel slighted. But there are good reasons for parents to be cautious and limit the number of visitors. Some of the most common reasons include the following:
Hospital policy: In the first day or two after your newborn is born, you may spend some time in the hospital recovering. During this time period, the hospital itself may have specific policies in place regarding visitors. Both parents and visitors will need to abide by these policies.
Bacteria and viruses: A newborn’s immune system is not fully developed. This means that young infants are not equipped to handle a wide variety of infections and diseases. This means that diseases which might be relatively minor for adults, such as RSV or influenza, can be very serious for newborns. It’s not until your baby reaches the age of three months or so that their immune system begins to function more robustly.
Bonding: Those first few months with a newborn can be very special. Many parents like to set aside some time for themselves and their newborn to get to know each other. This can include a significant amount of skin-on-skin contact and bonding time. Having to host constant visitors can feel intrusive as a result.
Social considerations: Anyone who has had a newborn knows that time is precious and sleep is scarce. This often means that daily tasks and house chores do not end up getting done (which is okay!). In these cases, however, many parents do not want to be put in a position where they might feel obligated to clean for company–or even informal visitors.
Does This Mean I Can’t Invite Anybody?
Most pediatricians suggest that parents create two lists of people: a small list of people who can visit during those first three months and a long list of people who can visit after those three months have passed. Many people will select only immediate family for the first group–and put everyone else on that second list. But every set of parents can make these determinations on their own.
It’s recommended that new parents draft these lists well in advance. This gives everyone the chance to develop realistic expectations (which can make respecting your boundaries a little easier).
Can You Minimize Risks Associated with Visits?
Whether you are comfortable with a long or short list of visitors in those first three months, there are some things you can do to minimize risks and improve newborn safety. After all, any visit from outside your immediate family will carry some risks. These risks are mostly disease-based. Someone who comes into your house could be carrying a virus or bacteria (often without their knowing it).
Limiting the number of people who visit can minimize many of these risks–but it’s not the only way to do so. Some proven risk mitigation strategies include the following:
Suggest that visitors wear masks: Diseases like the flu, RSV, and Covid are still quite prevalent, and they can be very dangerous for infants. Masks (especially N-95 or KN95 masks) can help limit the spread of many of these diseases. This is especially important because newborns are typically too young to receive any vaccinations. (Most infants cannot receive vaccines until they are at least one or two months old.)
Suggest that visitors be up to date on their vaccines: Vaccines are an amazing medical tool. Vaccines can give your body the tools it needs to prevent symptoms from specific diseases. In many cases, vaccines are so effective that you never become contagious. This can help prevent the spread of disease to your baby.
Visitors should stay home if they aren’t feeling well: If someone isn’t feeling well (even if they only have a little sniffle), they should postpone their visit. You will typically want guests to feel healthy for at least a week (if not two) before they elect to visit your newborn.
Avoid kisses: Try to dissuade visitors from kissing your newborn, especially on the face. Saliva can spread germs very effectively, so it’s often best to avoid exposing your newborn to kisses from a wide variety of people (often, it’s best to reserve this type of affection for parents). If kisses are unavoidable, suggest that people kiss the baby’s toes–not the hands or the face.
Wash hands regularly: Suggest to your visitors that they wash their hands before they come over for a visit–and continue to wash their hands during their stay. Handwashing can help prevent the spread of germs, keeping your newborn from having to contend with something their immune system is not yet ready for.
Every family will be different in terms of the risk mitigation strategies they want to use. But you can always ask your provider about what’s reasonable given the age of your newborn.
What Visitors Can do to Make Visits Easier
It’s up to parents to set boundaries–but it’s the job of visitors to respect those boundaries and try to make visits as easy as possible. So what can visitors do to accomplish that? There are several things!
Don’t argue with parents about boundaries they’ve established. If you aren’t in the “first” group, then arguing about it is not going to make the situation better. Respect boundaries to help build a good relationship. Likewise, do your best to follow the instructions and guidelines that parents have established for your visit.
Do something helpful (don’t arrive empty handed). Ask if there is some cleaning or cooking you can do, or bring a ready-to-heat up meal that can serve as dinner. With newborns in the home, lots of those day-to-day chores can get left behind, so it’s always nice when visitors pitch in.
Do not show up unannounced. Parents are exhausted–and they likely know when they’re in the mood for visitors and when they aren’t. This means that showing up unexpectedly can put parents in an uncomfortable situation. You might think it’s impulsive and show concern–but most parents will feel seriously put out by unexpected visitors. At the very least, make sure to get permission from the parents before showing up unexpectedly and unannounced.
Don’t overstay your welcome: Parents are tired! Watch for cues or signals from both the newborn and the parents that maybe you have overstayed your welcome. When you pick up on those cues, it’s time to pack up and say goodbye!
The best thing you can do as a guest is be courteous and thoughtful. It’s also important for parents to gauge their own energy level. This is especially important just after childbirth, when you may have some significant healing, resting, and recovery to do. It can be challenging, but try not to let visitors take away from that recovery time.
When is it Okay to Expand the Visitor’s List?
In general, you can start letting more visitors see your newborn when they reach three months of age. This is when their immune system will be more functional and the risk of complications from an infection or illness will be lower.
But there may be some times before this three month mark that warrant allowing more visitors to see your newborn. For example, if you visitors are bringing help (in the form of cooking, cleaning, help doing chores, and so on), then the benefits of a visit may outweigh the risk to your newborn.
Additionally, there are always going to be some things outside of your control. For example, if your newborn has siblings, it’s likely going to be very difficult for those siblings to show any restraint. It happens–and it’s just part of having a family!
Talk to Your Provider About Newborn Safety
Many new parents feel uncertain–and this can make it difficult to establish boundaries and trust your own instincts. However, it’s important for parents to determine where their comfort level is when it comes to visiting your newborn. Without clear boundaries, it’s likely that some family members (with the best intentions) may put you in an uncomfortable spot.
Understanding the risks and benefits of visitors can help you determine what will work best for your newly expanded family–and enjoy those first three months as much as possible.
If you have questions about newborn safety or how you should handle visitors, schedule an appointment with our Chicago or Northbrook offices today!