Chances are, your teenager spends a decent portion of their day on social media. This isn’t always inherently a negative thing. Social media can offer a way to find community, build friendships, and more. However, it’s important that both parents and teens are aware of the danger of cyberbullying. That’s because cyberbullying with teens can lead to both short term hardships and long-term negative outcomes.

According to a 2022 survey conducted by Pew Research, 46% of all teens have experienced some form of cyberbullying. While this online harassment can take many forms, there’s no denying that cyberbullying with teens is a pressing and relatively common problem. But it’s also one that parents can help prepare their teen to confront, offering both help with prevention and support with solutions. When your child has the tools to recognize cyberbullying and respond appropriately, you can help your teen minimize the emotional (and sometimes physical) harm that may result.

What is Cyberbullying? And Are There Signs?

It’s important to emphasize that cyberbullying may not always be easy for teens or parents to see or recognize. Cyberbullying with teens will typically take place in social spaces online–such as social media (including TikTok, Instagram, and more), email, text messages, and more. 

The form that cyberbullying can take varies widely. Sometimes it can revolve around saying unkind things about the way a teen looks or posting humiliating content, or identity-based harassment. BIPOC and LGBTQ+ teens report cyberbullying at far higher rates than other teenagers.

So, how do you know when your teen is experiencing cyberbullying? Many of the signs could be subtle. Shame, guilt, and social pressures can make teens reluctant to come forward–even when they do recognize when cyberbullying occurs. Parents should keep an eye out for the following signs:

• Changes in mood directly before or after using the internet or social media.

• Emotional reactions to text messages or direct message alerts, especially if this presents as anxiety or depression when it occurs.

• Withdrawing from friends or family.

• A sudden decrease in the frequency with which your teen uses internet-connected devices, including computers and smartphones.

• Increased anxiety surrounding going to school (though not all cyberbullying is directly connected to school).

• A reluctance to discuss their online social life that goes beyond what you would normally expect from your teen engaged in protecting their privacy.

• General changes in mood or behavior, such as withdrawing from favorite activities or falling grades.

If you notice these signs, it’s important to set aside some time to have an open and supportive discussion with your teen about what’s happening.

How to Prevent Online Harassment

One of the best ways to mitigate the harm from cyberbullying is to prevent it from occurring in the first place.There are several steps you and your teen can take to protect your mental health while using social media or digital platforms. Some of these steps include the following:

• Discuss cyberbullying with your teen when they start to create their digital social life. If they know what online harassment looks like and how they can recognize bullying, they are better equipped to avoid it (and seek help if it occurs).

• Discuss tools your teen can use to protect themselves. Most social media platforms have a block function. Make sure your teen knows how to use it (and uses it liberally).

• Encourage your teen to be selective about which social media platforms they use. Some platforms have more robust blocking and anti-harassment tools than others. Favor those platforms that have stronger tools, policies, and enforcement.

• Ask your child if you can participate in their online social life the same way you do in their physical social life. That said, it’s important here not to be too involved. You want to give your teen the space and privacy to safely explore their sense of self and their identity.

How Can You Talk About Cyberbullying and Online Safety?

Teenagers tend to be both smart and capable. Have a frank discussion with your teen about what cyberbullying is, the forms it can take, and how it may occur. Be sure to present solutions and mitigation problems as well as your concerns. If your teen feels as though you’re simply trying to scare them off the internet, they’re less likely to take the discussion seriously.

If cyberbullying occurs, it’s important to offer a supportive sounding board. Empathize with your teen and present solutions. It’s equally important to avoid blaming your teen for the bullying or harassment they’ve encountered. Avoid phrases such as, “If you would have stayed in private mode like I told you, this wouldn’t have happened.” 

How to Report and Respond to Cyberbullying with Teens

Most social media platforms will have a reporting function. Unfortunately, some anti-harassment policies are more robustly enforced than others. However, when cyberbullying occurs, it can often be useful for you and your teen to go through the reporting process together. 

If the harassment is related to something happening at school, it may also be worth following up with school administrators. This is probably something you will want to discuss with your teen before it occurs. However the cyberbullying occurs (and no matter what you and your teen decide to do about it), it can often be important to keep detailed records and make sure all incidents are documented in some way.

There’s no single right way to respond to cyberbullying. Listen to your child, but make sure to use your judgment as an adult with adult levels of experience. If you have health-related questions about cyberbullying (or in-person bullying) ask your teen’s pediatrician during their next wellness visit. You can call to schedule an appointment at our Chicago or Northbrook offices today!