New parents especially are often caught between a rock and a hard place. On the one hand, there’s immense pressure (both from peers and from children) to be actively engaged in every aspect of your toddler’s everyday life. On the other hand, there are benefits to encouraging independence and letting your toddler engage in self-direct activities. That’s why encouraging independent play in toddlers can often be challenging. Adopting specific strategies and approaches can help make this challenge more manageable.

After all, your toddler will spend the majority of their time engaged in play. Play is how kids learn! What self-directed play looks like for your toddler (and for you) will vary from family to family. Some toddlers may benefit from pre-established structures while others may enjoy a more freeform approach.

Whatever independent play looks like in your home, studies have shown that spending time engaged in self-directed activities can help boost your child’s creativity, attention span, and emotional regulation abilities. Parents who are having a challenging time fostering independent play can use specific strategies and techniques designed to make the process easier for both you and your toddler. When independent play becomes a routine or regular part of your daily life together, the entire experience will be less uncomfortable and more fulfilling–both for you and for your toddler.

Why Independent Play is Crucial for Development

Many people tend to think of play as something that’s frivolous. For adults (especially those in work-focused cultures) there’s a sense that any type of play is a waste of time and a detriment to productivity. But the reality is that play is an excellent learning tool. A wide variety of animals use play to help them learn, and humans are no exception. So while your child is playing, they are learning vital social, emotional, cognitive, and physical skills that will help them for the rest of their lives.

And while there’s no wrong way to play, there are some types of play that can encourage growth. One of those methods is something called independent play. As the name implies, independent play occurs when your toddler plays on their own, especially in a self-directed way. They decide what toys to play with, how to play, and what happens next. Independent play does not necessarily mean unsupervised play, but your toddler should be self-directed enough that you can spend fifteen minutes focused on work or household tasks, for example.

In addition to the critical breaks it can provide for parents, there are several significant ways in which independent play is crucial for your child’s development:

• Independent play encourages cognitive development: While playing on their own, your toddler will engage in problem solving and creative thinking. Your child will use their imagination, encouraging cognitive development in specific areas and laying a foundation for future creative thinking skills.

• Playing independently builds emotional regulation capabilities: Your toddler will have to deal with emotional highs and lows when they play on their own and you aren’t there to solve every moment of boredom or frustration. In this way, your child will get some practice self-soothing in a very low key and low stakes situation. This can bolster the development of social and emotional learning skills later in life. 

• Independent play can improve your toddler’s attention span: Anyone who has a toddler knows that they don’t generally have the longest attention span. They want what’s new and exciting. This is very normal for a toddler! But independent play can encourage them to focus on something in incrementally longer periods. They’ll find what interests them and what engages them, gently and effectively encouraging improvements in their attention spans.

There are additional benefits too. For example, your child will likely experience boosts to their self-confidence and self-esteem. And they will begin to effectively discover and explore what interests them (and what doesn’t), encouraging the development of a better defined sense of self. In this way, independent play can yield significant and long lasting benefits for your toddler.

Age Appropriate Independent Play Toys and Activities

For parents, it’s often important to determine what counts as independent play and what doesn’t. In general, screen time may occupy your child, but it doesn’t really qualify as independent play. They may be watching YouTube independently, but the videos aren’t stimulating the areas of the brain that encourage cognitive growth and imaginative creativity. 

In general, you’ll want to stick with toys and activities that are age appropriate. Parents should consider the following:

• Avoid toys that may overstimulate with lights, loud noises, or a combination of the two. These toys may be age appropriate, but they also undermine your child’s ability to concentrate on using their imagination and creativity.

• Toddlers will often enjoy arts and crafts materials. This can include crayons, markers, and non-toxic fingerpaints. (At this age, their hand eye coordination does not usually allow for the use of child-safe scissors, so save any required cutting for a more interactive moment.)

• Emphasize toys that activate the child’s imagination. This can include figurines, dolls, dress-up clothing and more! These types of toys can help your child create stories, characters, and generally have a great time playing.

• Try to incorporate active play materials. This can include balls of various kinds or anything that really gets your toddler moving.

• Let your toddler spend some time with some fun picture books that really stimulate their imagination and creativity.

• Consider letting your toddler engage with age appropriate puzzles. These can help your kids practice cognitive skills, problem solving, and fine motor skills at the same time!

• Don’t forget about blocks. Building with blocks is a great way to engage the imagination, especially in toddlers. And the ensuing destruction can often be equally fun and creative, as well.

How to Create a Safe and Engaging Play Space

No matter the activity your toddler chooses, successful independent play requires a safe and engaging space. In this case, safety relates both to physical and emotional safety. There are several ways in which parents can help create this space:

• To ease your toddler into independent play (especially if they resist the concept), you can begin with supported play and then use supported playtime to transition into independent play. For example, you could plan on 15-20 minutes of supported play with your toddler and then let them know it’s time for them to play on their own for a while.

• In order to encourage your child’s creativity, refrain from interrupting your child while they play or correcting them on how they are playing. Let them explore and develop their own ways to play, even if it seems incorrect or silly to you.

• Keep the screens off. Try to avoid having a television going in the background or anything else that could be distracting to your toddler. (Of course, if you have to work on a screen, that’s unavoidable and not a problem.)

• Set clear expectations (for both you and your child) and communicate those expectations to your toddler. This helps your child understand what’s happening. For example, you can say something like, “Okay, you’re going to play on your own for fifteen minutes. After that I’d love for you to tell me about everything that happened!”

• For children who have a hard time keeping up with independent play, try setting some time limits. Many children will enjoy and benefit from this added structure. Start with five or ten minutes of dedicated independent play time. Make sure you communicate this clearly to your toddler. As time goes by and your toddler gets more comfortable, you can increase the duration of these structured independent play time periods. It’s important to point out, however, that some toddlers may not need this structure and will happily engage in independent play for long periods of time.

• Remember to stay near and keep an eye on your toddler. Supervising independent play is critical to ensuring the safety of your child. This is true no matter what kind of independent play your child is engaged in.

• Try to stay positive, supportive, and enthusiastic. Your toddler will pick up negative feelings or frustration and start to associate those emotions with independent playtime. This can be counterproductive in the long run.

How to Balance Structured Play with Free Play

As with anything, successful independent play requires an amount of balance. In some cases, independent play may be more successful when you give your toddler specific activities (for example, arts and crafts). Other toddlers may respond better to completely self-directed activities. 

Likewise, just because independent play is important doesn’t mean your toddler would benefit from all independent play all the time. Balancing independent activities with supported activities and interaction will give your toddler the best of both worlds and ensure all of their playtime needs are met.

Independent Play is Important for Toddlers–and Parents

There’s a myth that parents need to be constantly involved in their toddler’s play. This can be exhausting for parents and limiting for children. The reality is that both parents and children benefit from independent play. For parents, independent play means you may be able to find a little bit of time to get some work done, focus on a hobby, or just relax. For toddlers, independent play builds a bridge to social and cognitive development that will provide benefits for years to come.

Plus, independent play can just be fun! And it’s a type of fun that helps your toddler truly express who they are. Give them the space to do that, and all will benefit.

Concerned about independent play and your child? Talk to your child’s pediatrician during their next wellness visit. If your child is a patient here at Children’s Healthcare Associates, you can make an appointment today at our Northbrook or Chicago offices!