Stress is contagious. This isn’t true in a germ-theory sense. You can’t “catch” stress from someone the same way you can pick up a cold or a flu. But being around stress can itself be stressful. And in this way, stress tends to spread. Unfortunately, you don’t necessarily have to understand what stress is to suffer from anxiety and tension. Which means even infants and babies can be impacted by the long-term or chronic stress of their parents.

This represents something of a catch-22, because the unfortunate truth is that raising a child can be exceptionally stressful. This stress is often compounded by social expectations, work commitments, and more. 

Babies and infants are exceptionally perceptive, especially when it comes to the mood and temperament of their parents. In this way, parental stress can have a significant impact on infant well-being, both in short term and long term ways. Identifying triggers, employing stress-management techniques, and seeking out strong support networks can help you minimize these impacts and insulate your baby from the stress you’re feeling. And when your stress is under control, you can more thoroughly enjoy the joy that comes with parenting, which is good for both you and your baby.

How Parental Stress Impacts Your Baby

Because babies have not yet developed the ability to speak or use basic gestures to communicate, it’s easy to underestimate just how attuned to their parents and caregivers they can be. Babies have been found to be quite observant of even subtle shifts in emotions. 

However, in some cases parents believe that they can mask their mood. In others, parents may not see a need to monitor their emotional state or mood around their baby. And that’s generally true when stressful days are few and far between. But chronic stress is a larger problem and can have a direct impact on your baby for two primary reasons:

• Chronic stress can lead to changes in parental behavior. Parents who are stressed tend to have less energy and less patience for their baby on an ongoing basis. As a result, these parents are often more distant and less engaged. For example, a stressed out parent may be less playful, make less time for tummy time, or talk to their babies less often. These are all things that can impact cortisol levels in your baby’s brain and, therefore, even have a negative effect on your bonding process with your baby.

• Your stress can stress out your baby. Infants are very adept at picking up on moods, and they will often notice when something is wrong. This means your stress can also stress out your baby. This can impact your infant’s day to day experience in significant ways. For example, infants who are stressed tend to experience more trouble sleeping, making them crankier and fussier during the day. This can, of course, lead to quite the stress-fueled vicious cycle.  

Unfortunately, chronic stress in a parent has been shown to correlate with long-term negative impacts for babies and child behavior. Babies that grow up in a stressful environment (especially when the stress continues) tend to perform less well academically. As older children, they also frequently act out more at school and experience other behavioral health issues.

Children that grow up in stressful environments have also been shown to mature more rapidly in specific areas. This includes areas of the brain that focus on threats and threat assessment. Children that grow up in stressful households also tend to develop emotional regulation methods more quickly. However, these methods are not always necessarily productive or healthy. But because they are developed at a very young age, they tend to become quite entrenched.

For parents, this can feel like there’s a lot of pressure to, well, be happy no matter what. But it’s important to remember that in these cases, acute stress is not a big issue. Everyone has bad days! Instead, the goal should be minimizing or better coping with chronic stress. When stress never goes away, you can’t recover from it and neither can your baby.

How to Identify Chronic Stress Triggers

There’s little doubt that we live in a stressful world. It can feel like a challenge for parents and caregivers to manage that sometimes overwhelming stress. That’s why it’s important to identify personal stress triggers and try to manage that stress as best as possible. You may not always be able to make the world less stressful, but there are stressors you can control. Identifying those can help you better manage them.

Unfortunately, stress is not always easy to spot. Sometimes it’s such a normal part of our everyday life that we become oblivious to it and we don’t necessarily notice its impacts.

However, there are some common triggers that parents of infants in particular should be on the lookout for:

• Parenting stress: Parenting can be incredibly rewarding and joyful. And it can also be immensely stressful. Acknowledging this stress can help you feel better about seeking help to minimize this stress. After all, major life changes are a huge source of stress, and adding a new baby to your family is certainly a major life change! It’s not surprising that this would disrupt your routines, add new anxieties, and generally increase your overall stress levels.

• Financial stress: Finances are among the most common reasons for chronic stress, especially as inflation and an unstable economy make those finances more challenging to maintain. However, sometimes financial stress is difficult to spot. That’s because these challenges can often feel so profound that people end up avoiding them. Caring for an infant can introduce additional and often unexpected financial stressors.

• Work stress: Most people think they leave their work stress at work. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. It’s all too easy to bring that stress home with you. And because work-from-home situations are far more common (especially for working parents), it’s easier than ever for work stress to become a factor for both you and your infant. 

• Social stress: Adding a baby to your family can impact your social situation in a wide variety of ways. For some, it may be more challenging to go out and see friends. For others, friends may be hesitant to visit. As a result, parents of babies often grow quite lonely. And this loneliness can itself become a source of stress, depression, and isolation.

Identifying the stress triggers that are impacting you the most can help you become more aware of how that stress is impacting you and find better ways to manage and mitigate that chronic stress.

Stress Management for Parents

Parents of babies are incredibly busy. And for many, stress may seem like a natural part of the experience. That can lead many parents to deprioritize managing their own stress, no matter where it comes from. 

However, this is one area where practicing self-care can have benefits for your baby as well. When you are less stressed, your baby is less stressed. Here are a few ways that parents of infants can find ways to de-stress:

• If possible, take parental leave from your job: This will be especially helpful in the first few months of your baby’s life. Parental leave means you won’t have to juggle work and parenting, so won’t be bringing that work (or schedule) stress home with you!

• Spend some time outside: There’s something to that saying of touching grass. When you’re parenting a baby, it’s easy to get trapped into your home all day every day. But spending some time outside among nature can be very beneficial for your stress (and have benefits for your baby, too).

• Make time for activities you enjoy: It’s essential to carve out time for activities that bring you joy (and bring your stress down). Find time to watch your favorite show or go shopping or engage in your hobbies.

• Line up help and support before your due date: The last thing you’ll want to do when you’re stressed out is reach out for help (which can itself be a source of stress). But if that assistance is already lined up, you’ll be in a much better position to reduce stress in multiple ways. 

• Spend time on mindfulness: It may sound silly, but spending a little bit of time working on your zen can have tangible benefits. For some new parents, downloading a mindfulness or meditation app can lead to more regular use of grounding and calming techniques. 

Find the Support You Need

Raising a child can be an immense amount of work. But you don’t have to do that work alone. Reaching out for support can help you minimize parental stress and improve the well-being of your infant in the process. The internet has made it easier than ever to find local support groups for new parents and caregivers. Finding these support groups and leaning on folks who have been through this before can also be quite helpful.

If you have questions about managing stress and how this stress may impact your infant, talk to your baby’s pediatrician during a regular wellness visit. 

If your baby is currently a patient at Children’s Healthcare Associates, you can make an appointment at our Chicago or Northbrook offices today!